Hysterically Heddy

So I have news!!! I started up a new venture, YOUTUBE. I say new because it's a new concept. Obviously, I've discussed my previous YouTube channel that had stupidity attached to it, including me being all, "I'm not racist, but..." This one I'm hopeful will be less ignorant and more positive. I'm trying to make a good mark on the world. I shot the first video today and I'm pleased with it, though it could be better. My girlfriend is going to edit it up and then we'll be cooking with primer. It's a makeup channel, and I hope it goes over well. I have been sick for like two weeks. It's either my lower bowels/intestines, or I'm exhausted and can't keep myself moving. There's been no in between. I've gotten down to 217lbs, but I'm still wishing to get lighter. Not like 100lbs lighter, or something like that. I just want to be healthier. I know it's out there somewhere for me.  Today my girlfriend and I went to...

I'm a disembodied head with a painted on smile.  No one really knows me.  There is no me.   It's May 11, 2005.  Two days ago I was whole.  Two days ago I was young, naïve, and free.  Two days ago I was invincible.  Two days ago I was trusting.  I was beautiful.  Young, naïve, free.  I was me.   The day began like any other.  I have new car.  It's red.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Kim says, “Let's go out.  Derby police.  Fun.”  I go.  So does Pat.  We work together, no thoughts no feelings no emotions no worry.  I show up at the bar feeling good.  I'm young, naïve, free.  Twenty one, too young to learn these things.  Pat greets me at the door with a hug.  His smooth black skin touching mine, no thoughts.  He helped raise my brother in law.  He's in his 40's.  He's safe.  I show all my new ride, a 1995 Pontiac Grand Am.  V6, vroom vroom. ...