An Introlude to a Kill [07-10-18]

While titling this, I dated it not once, not twice, but three times as being August. I'm old enough already, what the fuck do I hope to accomplish? A swifter demise? Ridiculous.

So, introductions are in order for anyone who might stumble upon my ramblings. Hello. Welcome. There is no punch and pie, that was a clever ruse to get you here, and now that you're here, you'll never leave again ... because my words henceforth will always find you. That being said, my name is Heather, but for purposes unbeknownst to me, I will be referring to myself as Heddy, as it is the best nickname anyone has ever given me and I'm obsessed with it.

I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. So even in the land of mental illnesses, I'm basic as fuck. Give me Ugg boots and some Pumpkin Spice Latte and we're all set. Everyone boasts of having anxiety disorders these days, it's like the concept of being a bit nervous in a group of strangers equals the fact that I won't go up to people I know because I'm worried that I really don't know them, that they'll either be the wrong person, or if they are the right person they'll be offended I condescended to speak to them in public, so I avert my gaze cleverly and try to do something very consuming [all hail the almighty cellphone] so it's slightly viable that I didn't notice them clearly coming across the street where I happened to be the only other occupant. I start to sweat, my palms itch, my face flushes, and I feel slightly gassy. If I'm having a particularly Banner day, I get full of acid reflux [in spite of my prescription antacid I take daily], and I may just have to run to the bathroom with IBS. It is very glamorous being me. Also, so many people say they are depressed when they're just sad, so people think you can just exercise it away and all is good, when in fact I require a high dose of anti depressants to keep me from killing myself. Also incredibly glamorous ... all the celebrities are doing it, I'm just part of the trend? Too soon? Probably. I'm still fucked up from Robin Williams' death, so I don't know what propriety is.

The purpose of this blog-type-thing is to just kind of air out some of my musings I have while I'm still fighting to stay here. It will be random, and occasionally offensive. Always adult language, and hopefully entertaining. I have had precisely three sips of a vodka and Diet Dr. Pepper, and also found out I do not have Microsoft Word on my computer like I thought, because these newfangled contraptions are deceiving, and I also do not have WIFI because internet ownership is a commitment I've never been progressive enough to make. PEOPLE CAN GET ON YOUR NETWORK ... they basically violate your technology like a savage, and then give it computer infections that all the computer penicillin can't remove the shame of such a breach.

Edit : I went to my girlfriend's house [by the way, I'm bisexual, lesbian leaning due to too many men in my life not being totally rad], and she is adult enough for the internet so here we are! Cooking with gas! Except her stove is electric, and I am now FAR too tipsy to be trusted with appliances that can kill people with a thought.