Hysterically Heddy

I have not quite mastered this formatting thing. I tried to make a post on my app and it was a hot mess. Deleted itself and everything. There were choice words, and some not so choice words, and I then gave up and had an alcohol. So, anyway, fast-forward to a few days later, I no longer know what that blog was intended to be about, but the desire to talk to the world remains. I play Final Fantasy games when I can. Not particularly well, or anything. I'm currently playing XIII, and I beat the last place I was at when I quit playing, so that's something, right? My TV was a gift from a friend's parents several years ago, and the bottom half of the TV is fritzing and going solid black periodically, so that makes for a very rough game play. Also, I'm used to the PS4 that pauses the game when your controller is going dead, or, ya know, for novelty value, TELLS YOU YOUR CONTROLLER IS GOING DEAD. My XBOX 360 does not do that in anyway my novice ass recognizes. A lot of pe...

I've been talking to myself for hours As if the stars and the moon have time for me I yearn to see what they see of me Maybe my freckles are dainty but charming Maybe the weight I carry is the cutest baggage Maybe my heart is anything but savage Or am I the way I seem to be to me A fist full of words like tiny daggers Squeezing until my palms bleed Clenching teeth as they seethe A forest of dark cloud and trees Desiccated branches too tired to breathe A voice full of shards of glass, I choke And hang on every single word I spoke 

I'd like you to know that my self care routine lasted approximately two and a half weeks before I got tired of looking at myself, and  gave up. I'm a quitter quite naturally, so that's something awesome about me. "What, this is hard? Never mind, I'm going to take a nap." I'd have made an excellent cat. Speak of cats, my cat and my dog have taken to alternating parts of the hallway to use as a toilet, and I'm about to lose my mind. This is precisely why I loathe carpet. It's like it sings these little furshits a song that tells them, "Here, my beautiful fluffy bitches, here is where you want to do your business!" My land lord is going to have a fit if I can't get it all up, and that makes me sad because he's actually a decent guy. The carpet is older than I am, though, so maybe he'll just have to finally have to replace it from something maybe even from the 80's? I'm in the middle of reading like 8 books, so how...